So here we are, in that retail wasteland between Thanksgiving and the major "gifty" holidays ... and you're out of ideas. You've been from store to store, crawled the malls and even braved a megamart or two. And still you're not done.

You, my harried friend, have a foodie on your gift list, one of those growing number of folks for whom food and cooking are not just necessities, but cherished hobbies or even professions. These are people for whom the old Hickory Farms sausage box will not do ... they get their sausage custom-made directly from the slaughterhouse. You don't dare get them a set of barbecue tools ... they have one, custom-made to fit their hands and stamped with their initials.

OK, perhaps I'm overstating a bit. Not every foodie is a gadget freak or obsessed with ultra-gourmet foods, but they are savvy folks, appreciative of true quality and uniqueness in foods or tools.

So, read on, and find the great stuff that will have everyone envying your ability to come up with gift ideas!

For The Carnivore

A few months back, I told you about Mikey's Marinade, a fantastic meat dunk created by a sommelier that shows true creative flair. It's not sweet ... not spicy ... not exactly, anyway. The best way I can describe it is that it matches with meat the way a good sommelier will match a wine with a meal. It complements without overpowering, and works with the meat rather than against it to bring out flavors. I've used it with beef and pork, and it is simply outstanding.

Now, showing his realization that his customers are a pretty rabidly carnivorous bunch, Michael Romano has created gift sets that will delight any meat maven on your gift list. There is the simplicity of the three-bottle gift box, with three containers of Mikey's Marinade presented in a nice gift box.

The next step up is the Carver's Delight, with three bottles of marinade, a Catskill Craftsmen cutting board and a Norpro steel baster.

And if you really want to make your favorite steakhound happy, go for the ultimate, the Crave to Carve Ultimate gift basket, which has the marinade, the cutting board and the Norpro baster along with a set of 4 ½-inch Laguiole steak knives, which are so classy they'll flat refuse to cut anything cheaper than ribeye. I jest, of course, but they're darned good blades.

Art You Can Eat

A couple of months ago, I heard from Patty Beckman. She's the driving force between what may be the most innovative food line I've seen in the last five years, Arty Appetite.

How to describe these creations? Well, imagine, as the Web site says, what a Picasso painting would taste like. No, don't imagine the taste of paint-soaked canvas ... imagine the flavors of the rich colors swirled on your palate and what the flavor notes would be.

Take my favorite of their line for an example. Chocolate Azteca Diego, inspired by the great Mexican muralist Diego Rivera, is a hot chocolate mix with a kick of hot pepper that doesn't introduce itself until you've swallowed your first sip. It's far from overpowering, but there is a definite "bang" that makes you rush to take a second sip ... then savor every one. It's creamy as heck, even made with water rather than milk. In fact, I find I prefer it made with water as that enhances the pepper note a bit. Topped with some shavings of dark chocolate, this is the sort of drink you'd find the dregs of left on the bedside table ... or in front of the fireplace.

But enough of the mushy stuff, they've got dips, too! The Georgia O'Chipotle mix is a super-groovy spicy mix that sings in sour cream, and the Salvador Deli mix goes with everything from baked potatoes to ham sandwiches.

Look, just go order a selection for your favorite adventurous eater, and get some for yourself!

Jam Session

OK, so it's actually a jelly, but "jelly session" isn't quite as catchy.

Willie McKemie is exactly the sort of person I love to bring to the world's attention. He's primarily a farmer, running a "pick your own" operation for blackberries, tomatoes and such. Now, however, thanks to the wonders of the Internet, you can find the fruits of Willie's labor, which happens to be quite simply the finest blackberry jelly ever created on this planet.

A good jelly should not overpower you with sweetness. You should be able to tell at the first taste what flavor it is (think that's funny? Try it with some of the major brands ... say with strawberry and raspberry). It should not be lumpy, but some textural hint of the fruit is not entirely out of line. A little bit of it should go a long way.

Willie's jelly, which you can order right here, has a tang that hits you in the corners of your mouth and a light sweetness that will make your tongue dance. It's the closest you'll come to biting into a farm-fresh blackberry in the dead of winter.

And think of this: You'll be buying this straight from the man who grows the fruit and makes the jelly. There is no middleman, no megamart or big box retailer taking a part of the proceeds or telling Willie to change the recipe to make it more "marketable." Here lies one of the greatest things about the Internet, friends and readers, and it tastes pretty darned good.

Top It Off

Of course it wouldn't be the gift guide if I didn't come up with some condiment choices, and the head of the patch this year is Herbal Gatherings, a mustard from Nebraska, of all places. Now, no insult whatsoever to the fine folks of that state, but I usually don't think of Nebraska when I think of exquisitely spiced and culinarily challenging condiments. It's the sort of thing you usually find where there's a long history of deli sandwiches and ethnic influences, like New York.

And that shows what an idiot I am, because this stuff blows away any mustard I've ever tasted out of the Big Apple, or just about anywhere else, for that matter. I've eaten a LOT of mustard, and both flavors of Herbal Gatherings are in my top 10 of all time.

Fun Stuff

It also wouldn't be a Short Orders gift guide if we didn't stop in and visit my pal Annie DuBois, with TexMexToGo.com. This year, I'm not going to tell you about her salsa. You've heard enough about that wonderfulness from me already.

No, this year we're going to explore some of the Mexican gifts available on the site. Got a friend who's curious about Mexican cookery? How about an empanada press? Annie's even got a great recipe on the site to make your very own tasty beef empanada, and it can be modified to handle just about any filling ingredients you'd like.

Like those fancy-schmancy bowls in which you get your taco salads from Taco Bell or a regular restaurant? With Annie's help, you can make them yourself with her molds. They're from Norpro, the same company that makes the baster Mike offers in the marinade gift packs.

And that'll bring us full circle for this year. A Blessed Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and all-around happy holidays to all of you, and I'll see you in the New Year!