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Fantasy Football 2014: Welter's Wedding Party

Updated: Monday, August 4 2014, 11:51 PM EDT

By Pat Welter

It's 12:45pm, I'm supposed to be at the church in fifteen minutes and I still haven't picked out which shirt I'm going to wear.  For big days it's good to have two shirts, your wedding day is arguably the biggest.
 
I put on the larger one to avoid any chest hair pop outs and grab my cold egg sandwich out of the mini fridge. Just like the bigger shirt, the egg sandwich was also my second.  Your wedding day is a long day, got to stay fueled up.
 
As I force down the egg sandwich outside the limo, one of my groomsmen asks me, "Welter what are you more excited for, this or draft day?"
 
And like many of the important questions in life, I had to think about it.  
 
I mean of course I was more excited for my wedding day.  I was about to marry my college sweetheart, the love of my life, the girl I had shared the last seven years with.  But because of all those reasons I knew what I was getting into, it was the unequivocal right choice.  I had found my soulmate and we were getting married. It was like a Disney movie.
 
A fantasy football draft on the other hand, that is a complete unknown.  That is a straight up Hitchcock style thriller.
 
But when you stop and think about it there are a lot of similarities between draft day and a wedding day.  Draft day comes once a year, a wedding once in a lifetime (at least if you do your proper research ;)
 
A wedding day is filled with nervous excitement about what could go right and wrong and so of course is draft day.
 
And just as in planning a wedding you are forced to somewhat rank and prioritize friends and family, you do so in fantasy football as well.  Except in fantasy football it's running backs, QBs and receivers, most of whom you've probably never met.  But then of course that's the fun isn't it.
 
It isn't fun deciding if Aunt Ethel can sit next to Uncle Ronnie (why is it always Aunt Ethel?).  It isn't fun deciding if Tony from high school is sober enough to warrant an invite.  It is however very fun deciding if Maurice Jones-Drew is worth drafting after a "fresh" start in Oakland.
 
So what did my wife and I do to help ease the process.  Create some criteria.  

Who have we known the longest?  Who do we still see regularly?  Who do we plan to consistently make time for in the future?  For fantasy football rankings and draft strategy the same holds true.  Make criteria to help ease the decisions.  

What I'm about to give you is my Fantasy wedding party.  The five players I can't live without.  The players I want to spend my 2014 season with. (Until death due is part is more of a dynasty league column, we'll save that for another day).
 
They have been chosen through a number of criteria.  Upside, safety, draft value, and we'll call the last one flash. (Hey it's important in picking your life partner too;)   [another emoji parentheses? what is wrong with this guy? is he really using brackets?]
 


Best Man-- LeSean McCoy RB
 
You don't need numbers to know LeSean McCoy is the best man to own if you've got the number one pick. Sure there's AP and Jamaal Charles, but AP is 29 and Charles is a lone weapon.  For me it's all McCoy....and his coach by the name of Chip Kelly.
 
Kelly consistently improved Oregon and this year I expect the Eagles to be even better.  There's the absurdly few injuries, the Nick Foles miracle work and now he's got a proven NFL track record.  The buy-in should be like Charles Barkley at a vegas casino. 
 
I can tell you about his 5.1 yards per carry and his 9 runs of 20 yards or more but all you need to do is look at the tape.  If you played against a guy with McCoy on his team last year and happened to be watching an Eagles game, you know you don't want that feeling again.  Draft McCoy.
 
Groomsman-- Andre Ellington RB
 
The running back busts in last years' first round may make you hesitant to draft a running back early and I don't blame you.  So if you take wide receivers early, Andre Ellington could be the guy that puts your team over the top.
 
In just 118 attempts Ellington rattled off 8 rushes of 20 yards or more, 3rd best among RBs.  His yards per attempt, 5.5.  That was number 1.
 
And with Rashard Mendenhall and his painful 687 yards and 8 touchdowns out of the picture, the opportunity is there for Ellington to be the star C.J. Spiller never could.
 
Groomsman-- Michael Floyd WR
 
It's easy to forget that Michael Floyd was the 13th player taken in 2012.  It's also easy to forget that Michael Floyd was Arizona's leading receiver in 2013, not Larry Fitzgerald.  
 
Fitzgerald is still living off his incredible super bowl season rep, but now he's 31 and some of those 10 TDs he had last year are coming Floyd's way.  Expect this to be the year Floyd usurps the former wide out king, and at the minimal price you'll have to pay consider me in.
 
Groomsman-- Keenan Allen
 
He's Wes Welker, just younger, more explosive and not everyone knows his name.
 
After doing virtually nothing in his first three games as a rookie Allen exploded for five 100 yard games the rest of the way.  Sure you say, "five 100 yard games big deal."  Well in two of the games he didn't surpass the century mark Allen rewarded you with two 2 TD games.
 
His height and vertical targets aren't at the level you'd want, but Philip Rivers isn't a vertical quarterback and Allen is his go to man.
 
Groomsman-- Jay Cutler
 
Over my honeymoon I found myself in the middle of some Jay Cutler preseason trade talks.  I looked at our hotel TV and my wife was watching Cutler's wife Kristin Cavallari on that crazy addictive MTV show Laguna beach.
 
What's the point of that story? I don't know it was just bizarre and further proves my point about the link between weddings and fantasy football.  Also we ended up watching like 4 episodes and if Cutler can be as good as his wife's tv show he'll be in for quite a season.
 
Under Marc Trestman Cutler posted the highest completion percentage and rating of his career.  Another year with Trestman and some of the best weapons in the league in Alshon Jeffrey, Brandon Marshall, and Matt Forte should equal crazy good value from the sour faced QB.
Fantasy Football 2014: Welter's Wedding Party


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